Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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