Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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