Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
