My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
