Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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