the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
