i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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