If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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