is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
