That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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