ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
