Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
