I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have demons in me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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