I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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