Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There r osticjed everywhere
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
