I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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