Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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