so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Drake has all the answers
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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