I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize