We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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