Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
