Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
