and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
