God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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