Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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