it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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