Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
