She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize