You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
