Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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