She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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