I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
