he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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