that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
