I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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