This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
