I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
