Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize