my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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