We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
