This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
