Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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