if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
