Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
