girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize