She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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