Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
40s are totally the cure
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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