**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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