he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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