Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize