My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
