Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
