Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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