Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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