No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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