Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize