he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
