I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
