I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
