Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
