I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
