Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
