guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
